Press Release: Window Seat Wildlife Tours Launches Dawn Chorus Premium Package
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Window Seat Wildlife Tours is proud to announce its newest offering, the Dawn Chorus Premium Package. This exclusive experience allows guests to enjoy the earliest birdsong in the garden, from a vantage point that is only slightly more comfortable than the floor.
The experience
The package begins at 4.30 AM, when a member of staff will walk across the guest’s chest and sit on their face. This is the standard wake up service, and it has been refined over many years. Once awake, the guest is escorted to the window seat, where they will remain until the sun rises or the guest falls asleep again.
What guests will hear
The dawn chorus is a rich tapestry of sound. The following birds are expected:
- The blackbird, who opens proceedings with a solo
- The robin, who sings as though cross
- The sparrow, who contributes a general chirp
- The wood pigeon, who says the same five notes over and over
- A single crow, who is unrelated to the others and has opinions
Comfort
Guests will be provided with a blanket, a small cup of milk and a window that has been cleaned by a nose. A heated cushion is available for a small additional charge.
A quote
“Nothing compares to the first light of day, the first note of the chorus and the first moment of regret,” said Commodore Whiskerley. “That is why we have scheduled this event so early. It builds character, and it builds resentment, both of which are essential to a great holiday.”
Pricing
The package costs two treats per person, payable in advance or at the time of waking. A cancellation fee of one treat applies if the guest moves to a different room.
Bookings
To book your place, simply sit beside the Commodore at the window and look hopeful. Spaces are limited, as there are only three cushions, and one of them is a cat.
Window Seat Wildlife Tours is a fictional company and takes no responsibility for the volume of the chorus.
