How to Be a Patient Observer: Advanced Techniques
Our earlier article on patience was well received, so we have prepared a sequel for those who wish to go further. Juniper Fitch has spent many years perfecting these skills, and she has not moved since Tuesday.
Technique one: the loaf
Tuck your paws under your body and bring your tail close. Your outline should resemble a small bread. In this position, you reduce your visibility and increase your comfort. It is the foundation of all patient observation.
Technique two: the soft gaze
Do not stare at a single point. Instead, let your eyes relax and take in the whole scene. This allows you to notice movement at the edges, which is where most birds live. Practise by looking at a wall until it begins to move.
Technique three: the tail tip
Allow only the very tip of your tail to twitch. This indicates readiness without alarming the subject. A full tail swish is for amateurs. Juniper’s tail tip moves once every four minutes, and it has never been wrong.
Technique four: the slow blink
If a bird looks at you, blink slowly. This tells the bird that you mean no harm. It is, of course, a lie, but a gentle one. The bird may then relax and come closer, which is the point.
Technique five: the internal monologue
While waiting, engage in a quiet inner conversation. Consider your life, your hopes and what might be for dinner. A calm mind is a patient mind, and a patient mind is a hungry one.
Mistakes to avoid
- Fidgeting, which is audible
- Yawning, which is contagious
- Sneezing, which is a disaster
- Falling asleep, which is allowed but should be done discreetly
The reward
After hours of stillness, a bird will land on the branch outside. You will see it clearly. You will feel a surge of joy. And then, almost at once, it will fly away, and you will begin again. This is the beauty of the window seat: it asks nothing of you and gives you nothing in return.
