Frequently Asked Questions About the Window Seat Wildlife Tours Experience

Can I touch the birds?

No. The birds are on the other side of the window, which is closed. Please do not tap the glass in the hope that a bird will come inside. It will not, and the noise upsets the Commodore.

What if I see something unusual?

Please tell your guide, who will record it in the field journal. Notable sightings in the past have included a hedgehog, a fox and a plastic bag that behaved like a bird. The bag was entered into the record as “possibly a hawk”.

Are the tours suitable for kittens?

They are suitable for kittens, provided they remain on the cushion. Kittens who attempt to climb the curtains will be returned to their parents, or at least to the floor. Kittens are often very good observers, though they become distracted by their own tails.

What should I wear?

Wear your own fur. It is warm, it is comfortable and it is already attached. A collar is permitted, but bells are discouraged, as they alert the wildlife and annoy the Commodore.

Do you offer refunds?

If you see no wildlife, we offer a free biscuit. If you see only a leaf, we offer two. If you see nothing at all and fall asleep, we regard the tour as a success and offer a blanket.

How long do the tours last?

• The Short Glance lasts ten minutes
• The Standard Gaze lasts two hours
• The Full Vigil lasts until sunset
• The Eternal Watch has no end, and is offered only to the very patient

What is Monocle?

Monocle is our mascot, a cracked toy telescope. He is not functional, but he has a great deal of character. He was found under a sofa, which is where most of our equipment comes from.

Can I bring a friend?

Yes, but only if the friend is quiet and small enough to share the cushion. Large friends are asked to sit in the second row, behind the cat tree, where the view is of the cat tree.

Is there a gift shop?

There is a small shelf by the door. It contains a pencil, a button and a feather. All are free, and all are slightly chewed.

Thank you for your interest. We look forward to seeing you at the window.